1. I have spayed/neutered my cat(s).
2. I always keep the litterbox clean.
3. I am always on time with my cat's meals.
4. My cat(s) can see out of at least one window without having to behave like a contortionist.
5. I know the signs of painful, life-threatening cystitis, a painful urinary tract infection. If Tiger urinates in strange places, I rush him to the vet.
6. I take time to play with my cat(s) every day, even on days when I'm busy or in a bad mood.
7. I never forget to kiss my cat goodbye when I leave home.
8. I frequently bring home presents (these can be as inexpensive as a dried leaf or a pine cone. The important thing is to make an Academy Award-style presentation.)
9. I always keep the dryer door closed and check for sleeping cats before switching it on.
10. I never smoke in the vicinity of my cat's sensitive nostrils.
11. I give my cat fresh water and scrub out all bowls at least once a day.
12. I would never give my cat a "human medicine." (Aspirin makes cats very ill. And just one Tylenol can kill them.)
13. I would never declaw my cat. (You can still score a point if your cat came to you declawed and you know the pain and danger involved and would not make the same decision.)
14. I have provided for my cat in case of my death.
15. I would never give away my cat to someone else (exceptions here would be imprisonment, hospitalization, incapacity, and military dispatch in time of war).
16. I never yell or swear at my cat.
17. I would never leave my cat in the care of strangers or people whose reliability I had not verified.
How Did You Score?
Any score below 9 demands your immediate remedial training. Remember all those times that you resolved to eat less fat and then ordered the fries? This is not like that. This is serious business. You must decide to change your stripes or your cat will never adore you.
If you scored 13 or more, your furry friend is one happy feline with eyes only for you.
